just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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