Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
