I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
farters have to be the big spoon...
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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