i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
