There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
