Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I just found puke in my bra..
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
