i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
