it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
