Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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