and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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