If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
