are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I looked at my own cervix.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
