She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
