Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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