It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
