I skipped work to stalk him.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
There's always time for handjobs
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
