ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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