i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
