Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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