I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
ttyl tear gas
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
