He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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