went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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