I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
