just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
