She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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