On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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