My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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