It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
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