there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Randomize
