I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
These tits shall not be calmed
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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