I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
