I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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