I just made out with a guy for $7.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
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