There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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