yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
