and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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