Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
