Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
