Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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