he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
