I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
