My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
