I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
