This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
