Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize