On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
How does it feel to date your dad?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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