My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I got her a Nickelback box set.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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