i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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