They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize