Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
