I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
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