She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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