The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize