all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
