she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
