Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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