Dual....:-)
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize