I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
