Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
